"We fear change"

"We fear change" is a movie quote from probably the most quotable movie ever and yet when ever I whip out a line people just stare at me...what does a green screen have to do with Delaware? It's Wayne's World people! Come on!!!

Anyway I digress...I meant what I said. I fear change. Well...not fear...but it takes some adjusting. I tend to enjoy most of the seasons in my life and this one that I'm in I'm quite attached to and now it's coming to an end. Interns is ending. It breaks my heart in some ways just thinking about it.
Tonight I got on myspace for a little bit. The first time I've been on there for more than 2 minutes in a year or more. I was looking through my friend list trying to find someone that knew someone else (unsuccessful for the record)....as I'm flipping through the pages of faces I once knew my heart sinks just a little bit. I use to KNOW these people. Know them. We use to be close. We use to have inside jokes and I have stories that connect to them. We use to laugh together or have some sort of adventures and now what??? I recently just found out that one of them got married...to a girl I never even got to meet...that's how long it's been since we've seen each other. I remember hanging out with him in the middle of the night meeting up with others to eat pizza in an empty parking lot just to have something to do...and now...? nothing. I see a best friends little sister. The little girl that scratched me till I bled. The same little girl that I used as an excuse to play with My Little Ponies way past the age that I should have. Now? Now I see her caked with make up being cussed at by friends. I see drama friends, the kids that I would spend hours repeating the same thing over and over with yet having the time of my life while doing it, now they're scattered across the country with only lingering memories to look at.

The other night one of the first year interns was giving me a hard time for being so bumbed that the internship was ending for me. He said that we get into it to be sent out, not to stay in. This I know. I had to stop and explain to him it's not interns I'll miss it's THE interns I'll miss. It's not about the classes and what not that hurts me, although those were life changing....I'm going to miss the people. They have been with me through some of the hardest crap I've been through and yet managed to make me laugh through it...now what? Will I one day be looking through pictures and say "Oh hey, I love this kid! I wonder what they're up to now..." and tack on an amazing story at the end about almost being murdered at midnight by a man in the middle of the road? I've adopted these people as part of my family and I'm scared what happens next. . . God, I don't want to lose them...please...